I want to walk on stilts...naked
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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