Apparently you make a good broom.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Life is so much better after having sex.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
