Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
