Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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