I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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