the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
