I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
