The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
