I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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