Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
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