you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize