And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
