i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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