This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
