Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
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