they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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