"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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