i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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