Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
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