I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
