like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
