you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
