I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
