a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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