dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
