Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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