Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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