I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
