If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
