No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize