Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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