Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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