She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
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