O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
