were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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