you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
