she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
