Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
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