So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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