Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
