your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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