We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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