Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
