Need sex. Gaining weight.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize