dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
