my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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