I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
