I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
