Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
