I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
