If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
