I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
