hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
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already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
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I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
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