I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize