We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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