Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
