He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
