How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Even my vagina gasped.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
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