you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize