im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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