i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
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